The Fox and The Hound
by Dizzly Princess
Summary: Before they'd finished school, Yoko Kumomiya and Sirius Black were both prepared to accept the hardships of their war-torn world. It's strange how much longer it took them to accept love.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: This is a collaboration fic written by Magical Butts (Dizzly) and Raw Materiel (Princess).**

 **Dizzly will be writing all chapters from Yoko's point of view and Princess will be writing for Sirius.**

 **Because Sirius is odd, he get's the odd chapters. Congratulations Sirius.**

 **Dizzly is utterly gracious to work with and cares about the important things.**

 **For this reason we have decided to include some diversity in our story (E.g. James Potter and our OC are both people of colour in this fic.)**

 **x**

 **Princess**

* * *

 **Chapter one - The Great Marauder Games**

Sirius Black stared into his best friends' eyes. James Potter stared back. Sirius winced and James's eyes narrowed to slits. Remus's gaze floated from one to the other in exasperation as he stood in the doorway of their shared dorm;

"Don't you think you ought to-" Remus began, but he was silenced as his three roommates all cried out for him to sshhhh. "As you were then." Remus sighed, moving the rest of the way into the room and closing the door behind him. He settled on the chair by his ridiculously neat desk and had the cheek to try to start up a conversation with Peter about N.E.W.T. subjects, gross. Wormtail was not receptive. Sirius approved of Peter's focus on the task at hand. There was some pretty important stuff going down in Gryffindor tower in that moment. Case in point, he and James were having one of their famous staring competitions.

It was day eight of The Great Marauder Games. They'd commissioned a banner and everything, it was very official. Well they hadn't actually commissioned the banner but they had discussed how a banner might make it seem more official.

The rules of The Games were simple. There would be a competition between the Marauders, deciding who would be allowed to design the challenge for the day. Remus kept on trying to back out, but after day three he'd become slightly more into the spirit of the competition. This may have been due to a sudden onset of good sportsmanship, but Sirius suspected it had more to do with the new rule James had introduced. A rule which had been voted in by the Messrs, three to Remus. It was a penalty rule. Nothing too serious, it just meant that if you refused to participate the other boys were allowed to write a note home to your parents.

This wasn't the only time they had utilized said penalty. The last time they had been in second year and Sirius had written a note on behalf of James to his mother. The letter explained how James had fallen in love with Professor McGonagall and asked for some love advice. Suffice to say Mrs. Potter's response had been an instant hit. Sirius found the moment to be a great inspiration and fondly thought back on James's mortification often. He thought of it now, hoping the memories of his best friend's downfall would give him courage to conquer him in battle. Sirius attempted to communicate with his eyes what he was thinking of. He tried to find a way to force his body to radiate enough smugness that James would have no choice but to blink or cheat, naming him the winner.

Today was by far the most important event of The Games. Today was the day that the Gryffindors would meet with their head of house (or James Potter's true love as she was most often called), to receive career advice. This meant they would be sitting face to face with McGonagall and telling her what their ambitions were. If Sirius could just ignore the searing pain in his eyes for a moment longer it would be him that decided what his friends said during their appointments that afternoon.

Remus was not included in the competition as he had elected to be 'a forfeiting wuss' according to James or 'the worst sort of person' in Sirius's words. Sirius had also proceeded to sulk in the dorm bathroom, pouring over a muggle motorcycle magazine for the better part of an hour. He had claimed, and rightly so, that the cubicles were the only place that an upstanding marauder could gain shelter from traitorous Snorckaks. James had later explained to Remus that a Snorckak was a creature Sirius had fabricated to explain to Xeno Lovegood why all of his recent purchases from Honeydukes had mysteriously disappeared. Sirius hoped that Remus understood the undertone to the insult, which was that Remus always eats everyone else's sweets. Sirius could communicate a lot with a seemingly superficial jibe, a quality he felt was very much under appreciated.

Sirius dared not speak lest a gust of breath from his mouth might somehow find its way to adding any further sensation to his harrowed eyeballs. Tears streamed down the two boys faces. Remus rifled through his school bag looking for something to entertain himself while his friends carried on. and on. Even Peter had begun to lose interest and he started staring out the window over the grounds.

Peter had had his chance to compete already and had lost soundly to both Sirius and James. In saying that Peter's eyes were watery at the best of times and at the mere mention of competitive staring they began to gush fluid like the eighth wonder of the world. Muggle families in years to come would be discussing whether they should visit the majestic Niagara Falls or the spectacle that is Peter's face during their upcoming holidays. Remus could crunch numbers, James would be a tour guide who wore one of those umbrella hats and Sirius could run the resort. Sirius was great with business ideas. They would make a killing and all the muggle girls would fawn over Sirius. He'd take them for rides on his motorcycle and then they could watch the sunset over Peter's face as his projectile tears gushed forth and produced a breath taking rainbow over the horizon. Sirius was also very romantic.

Suddenly there was a change in the blurry outline of James, truth be told Sirius was half blind with tears when it happened. James might have switched himself out for any specky git with black hair and Sirius probably wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

"Aah!" James cried aloud and Sirius grunted with the effort to not shift, even minutely. He forced himself not to reacte. Even the slightest movement on his part could disrupt the careful balance he had maintained. Sirius hadn't even moved his tongue in three minutes. He had pressed the wiggly bastard against his bottom left premolar and he wasn't going to allow it to move until he was shouting with victory.

"What?" Remus mercifully asked from across the room, aiding in sating Sirius's curiosity without him having to jeopardise his victory.

"Nothing;" James said, his voice clearly tight from the strain of battle, "I just thought I had gone temporarily blind for a moment there." Sirius could almost hear the squishy noises of Remus rolling his eyes so hard they were probably on the verge of detaching themselves.

"An experience otherwise known as blinking?" Remus quipped and Sirius saw James's face fall into his hands.

"Oh thank Merlin that's over." James groaned and Sirius's face almost split open with his grin of triumph. He closed his eye and faced the ceiling shouting;

"Sirius Black! The Very Dashing Gryffindor that Could!" before grabbing one of the damp flannel cloths he and James had set aside and pressing it to his eyes. He was never going to get rid of this head ache but it would all be worth it. Sirius and James both sat in their desk chairs, which were still facing each other poised for optimum equal competitive advantage. They both groaned quietly with their faces pressed into their cloths and were obviously trying not to cry openly with relief. Remus shook his head almost imperceptibly; he was clearly baffled as to how he got along with two boys who were such divas. Sirius was flailing around like he's just gone ten rounds in a boxing ring. James sat desolate like he'd gone ten rounds and lost.

Remus was suddenly concerned that the staring competitions would have to be omitted from the structure of the games due to the amount of pressure his two melodramatic friends put on themselves. He had never heard of anyone experiencing a major injury due to a staring competition but if anybody could manage it, it was these two.

"How long have you two been staring into each other's eyes and crying like that?!" He asked, watching aghast as Sirius pulled the cloth away from his face to reveal eyes which were so bloodshot that there was more red than white gazing back at him. Sirius smiled wistfully and put his hand on James's shoulder;

"All of our lives, Remus, all of our lives." James nodded solemnly from underneath his cloth and Remus laughed despite himself.

* * *

Sirius was feeling a lot of regret. How did he ever let James persuade him to make such a mad gesture of 'good sportsmanship'? At the time James had made it seem so simple. His impassioned speech had seduced Sirius into believing that since he had decided what the other boys should tell McGonagall, they should be allowed to decide his fate. How had James done that? How did Evans keep her hands off of James? His powers of persuasion were evidently completely irresistible. Sirius was, after all, famous for his unerring restraint in such matters.

James and Sirius had argued at length as to their respective fates. Peter was to tell McGonagall that his long term goal was to become a potioneer and invent potions which would change the face of the wizarding world. He would then go onto explain all his great ideas for potions. For example, a potion that allows you to take on the appearance of another, a potion that forces someone to tell the truth, a potion that makes the person who takes it unfathomably lucky. Sirius had instructed Peter to not allow McGonagall to interrupt him with explanations of how all of these already existed but to continue describing his very very clever ideas.

Peter was well aware that this was one of his friends' passive aggressive moves to punish him for refusing to drink a mysterious concoction that Sirius had 'made especially for him you greedy git' the week prior. Peter called these frequent gestures by Sirius his 'Diva's Revenge'. This was not a term that James had let slip through his fingers and he used it at every available interval much to Sirius's ire.

Remus was to explain how he had seen the future and he already knew he was to be the most successful seer in a century. Sirius had kindly agreed that if Remus could convince McGonagall of this plan he could later discuss 'alternate career plans as divination is not infallible and Sirius I really do need her input.'.

James was going to just go in and tell the truth, that he had high hopes of becoming the wizarding world's most famous and beloved male gigolo. Bedding numerous witches who would be responsible for sponsoring James' semi-professional Quidditch career. James had complained that if word of his meeting ever got back to Lily she would have his balls. Sirius, being the sensitive refined gentleman he was, had put James's mind at ease by explaining that Lily 'couldn't give a rat's arse how many witches you shag Prongs you miserable sod.'.

James had then griped a small amount about Sirius's use of the term 'semi-professional' but Sirius had explained that prostitution was a very demanding racket and would put constraints on his time and energy. Sirius was utterly exasperated. Aspiring to be both a beloved gigolo and full-fledged Quidditch player was just unrealistic. Honestly.

At first James had wanted Sirius to describe his ambition to bewitch muggles of a modest monarchical nation and rise to the rank of king. Sirius had suggested that Britain could be a good choice. After forty minutes of in-depth discussion about strategies to replace the royal family of the United Kingdom, Remus had eventually demanded the topic be omitted before the two boys actually moved forward with their plans for high treason. Plans which Remus gathered might actually succeed should they put them into action.

After this plan had been unfortunately vetoed by Remus, following a drawn out conversation as to whether it was worse to betray your country or the Marauder's cause. Sirius then instigated a second lengthy discussion as to what technically fell under the parameters of 'the Marauder's cause', in which he described how they should really consider the long term benefits being royalty could lend to their management of mischief. Remus had then been forced to explain, in no uncertain terms, that Sirius and James should really just stop talking. Truly.

Eventually the results were in, many careers had been contemplated, most of them muggle jobs Sirius had never heard of. Chicken genderer, milkmaid, lollipop lady, Mr. McGonagall, dentist, pornography historian, acrobat, Olympic cricket player, pro-wrestler, end table and even a muggle magician (apparently a job where you do magic without using magic?). The final decision had sprung forth, at last, in the form of an off-hand comment by Peter. Peter had suggested that Sirius should express a desire to be a muggle midwife, something which after a short explanation turned out to be the most horrible job to ever exist in the known world.

James had said that it had sounded perfect but was looking a little green after the details he had just received about muggle child birth. Eventually he had conceded at Sirius's look of outright betrayal and asked for something which might be described as 'diet mid-wife', this had been the right decision as Sirius was privately making plans for a Diva's Revenge.

Peter had then gone on to describe a career which had been supported unanimously as the right choice for Sirius due to a combination of its believability as a choice Sirius would actually make and hilarity at the imagined reactions of their head of house. Gynaecologist. Just the sound of the word made Sirius smile whenever he thought about it during class for the rest of the day. Vagina doctor, he ran through different lines he could work into his conversation with McGonagall later on, all the way through history of magic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two - Yoko's Career Advice**

Professor Sprout gave herself a few moments before sighing heavily to admit the next student. Careers advice week always took an enormous amount of energy out of her. Not physically of course, she was sitting most of the time but mentally, emotionally. How on earth were fifteen-year-old children supposed to know what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives?

"Ah, miss Kumomiya!" She smiled warmly at the familiar face, "Nice to see you for reasons other than your activities as the school's vigilante! And you've brought your accomplices I see." She gave her two friends a nod of acknowledgement.  
"Thank you for your time, professor Sprout." She bowed slightly, as she always did with her elders. Professor Spout had to listen a little harder when it came to Kumomiya, since her accent was still a little difficult to understand at times.  
"Come in, come in." She ushered the small girl in, "And off to class you two, she'll be just fine from here." The young Ravenclaw boy started in one direction, while the Slytherin girl gazed over at her friend, gave her one last encouraging smile and headed off in the opposite direction to the boy before correcting herself and following him to their next class.  
Professor sprout gestured to the chair in front of her desk, "Sit, sit. Would you like anything to drink? Some pumpkin juice? Water perhaps?"  
"No thank you." She smiled politely as she hopped up onto the chair, her legs not quite reaching the floor as she sat all the way back into it. She looked as tiny as ever in that chair, perhaps even more so because of how she kept nervously fumbling with a piece of orange paper in her hands.  
"Now then…" The professor sighed, as she shuffled through the many pamphlets on her desk. "As you well know, this meeting is to discuss any career ideas you may have, and to help decide which subjects you should do for your sixth and seventh years." She said, "Have you had any thoughts as to what you might like to do once you leave Hogwarts?"  
"A little…but they're only thoughts." She continued to fumble with the piece of paper for a few more seconds. When she was finished, the once plain piece of orange paper had been turned into a little paper fox. "Everyone wants to be an auror, but I'm not so sure…"  
Professor Sprout sighed. "It's only natural in times like these…" She shook her head, "But we're here to talk about what _you_ want to do, not what your friends want."  
"Oh, Kitty doesn't want to be an auror, she wants to go into designing robes and things. Nor does Jas…I think he wants to be a magizoologist or dragonologist or something…" She mumbled.  
"And you would like to be…?" The professor prompted.  
"Well…I'm good at transfiguration and arithmancy, I'm interested in defense against the dark arts and my charm work isn't so bad now Jas is helping me…"  
"Hmm…" She hummed thoughtfully, "You know, I think Gringotts are looking for people at the moment. Hold on a minute…where did I put…" She began to search for the pamphlet, "Ah!" She smiled when she finally found it, handing it to the girl.  
"…curse breaking?" She looked down at the sepia coloured pamphlet. The lines that had been drawn on to make up the bank itself kept moving to form different pictures; pyramids in Egypt, temples in south America, Meji Shrine in– Yoko blinked. "You can travel to Japan?"  
"Hm? Oh, I would imagine so. Your people were rather…um, _creative_ when it came to curses." Professor Sprout looked apologetic.  
Kumomiya smiled, "I would imagine those ideas for terrible horror movies came from somewhere professor." She looked down at the pamphlet again as the professor got herself one to look through the criteria, not wanting to take the one the girl had away since she seemed to be gazing down at it so fondly.  
"Ah yes. It seems an OWL in arithmancy is required, since some banking and transacting will be done. They won't accept any less than at least five NEWTs in defense against the dark arts, potions, transfiguration, charms and ancient runes, all to be of a grade above exceeds expectations."  
"Eh?!" The poor girl looked positively crestfallen, she seemed to be speaking to the paper fox now, muttering in a language the professor knew to be her native tongue of Japanese.  
"Oh don't look so defeated Kumomiya! You haven't even sat your OWLs yet, and your grades have always been spectacular!" She smiled encouragingly at her, "I doubt they'd have many operatives in Japan, and since you're a native they might just be eager to have you, you never know!"  
"Maybe…" She mumbled.

Professor Sprout spent the next ten minutes of their appointment discussing what kinds of tests the goblins at Gringotts might put her though, as well as the kinds of risks that came with the job. The young Hufflepuff seemed to like the idea of being a curse breaker the more she asked about it. No doubt the thought of being able to work between the two places she called home was a big incentive to go for a job like this. But in the back of the professor's mind, she knew that she'd have to tell her the _other_ risk of taking on this job.

"Yoko," Using her first name seemed to alarm the girl a little, "I must let you know, as I have all the other students who've taken an interest in this career path over the past few years… There are other risks that come with a job like this. You see, in order to learn how to undo curses, you must first learn how they are done. Therefore, as time progresses with a job like this you'll inevitably come to learn a lot of terrible curses many witches and wizards have never even heard of." She said slowly, almost as if trying to delay telling her, "You'll have information that… _you-know-who_ might be interested in, you may become a target for him."  
At this, Yoko Kumomiya swallowed very hard. "Is that so…" She looked down at the pamphlet, then at her little paper fox before she shrugged slightly, "He might just target me either way though…"  
"That…is true…" The professor trailed off. Both she and Kumomiya jumped out of their seats when there was a knock at the door, indicating that there was another student waiting for their appointment, "Goodness me, is that the time? Oh dear…"  
"It's okay professor. I think I'm set." She smiled.  
"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. And there are some spare pamphlets in the common room if you need them dear."  
Kumomiya hopped off of the seat and bowed once again, hands placed before her lap, "Thank you, professor."  
"I'll see you tomorrow for herbology, unless of course you and your friends decide to rescue a poor student from a bully before the day ends."

After dinner that evening, she made her way over to the Slytherin table at the other end of the hall. She found Kitty in a matter of seconds, having come to recognize the petite Irish brunette's head among the many others at the table over the past five years. She sat down beside her, dumped her bag on the floor and put a hand on her arm, "Did you do your herbology homework?"  
"Not important," The other girl shuffled over, grabbing an extra goblet for Yoko, "How'd your appointment go? Did she say anything about that ministry job you were looking at? She didn't say auror did she? First thing Slughorn said to me, the cheek of him!"  
"You made Jas do it for you didn't you." Yoko stated bluntly, pouring herself a goblet of pumpkin juice.  
"Hey, _he_ wanted to do it." Kitty grimaced as she stuffed her face with more chocolate cake so she wouldn't have to talk.  
Yoko scowled, "You're a horrible person neko-chan." She shook her head as she pulled out a perfectly square piece of pink paper from her bag.  
"Oh! Oh! You said you'd teach me how to make a paper crane Yoko! Hello Kitty. How did your careers thingy go? Both of you I mean. Professor Flitwick said I'd make an excellent magizoologist, the whole dragonology thing would be a bit dangerous but if I just work more on my potions I'd be all set! So, about that crane?"  
Yoko was left oogling at Jas, her bright amber eyes wide as he spoke in a rush. "Uh…"  
"Ow! What was that for?!" Jas yelped slightly as he sat on the other side of Yoko, ignoring the disgruntled third year he'd forced to move up to make room for him.  
"We talked about this Jas. Yoko can't understand you when you talk fast!"  
"There was no need to hit him," Yoko hit Kitty back on Jas' behalf, knowing full well he wasn't the kind of person to retaliate, "It's a compliment that he forgets. I must sound like a natural now." She flicked her fringe dramatically out of her eyes. She knew full well that her accent, while much _much_ less prominent, was still present enough that people who'd never met her before had a hard time understanding her.  
"You really have improved though," Jas had slowed slightly for her now, "I'd say keeping that list of words has really helped too."  
"Mhm… So, what did you say earlier?"

The three unlikely friends spent the evening at the Slytherin table. The older students were used to it by now, and had come to view it as a good thing. A Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin, all close friends and sitting at a table many others deemed to be 'the bad table'. Then again, one had to wonder if they'd be so forgiving if a Gryffindor was sitting with them. Yoko taught Jas how to make a paper crane. Naturally he had it down in a matter of minutes, and asked to borrow some origami paper to practice. No doubt he'd have learned how to charm them into fluttering across the room come tomorrow morning, as a means to pass notes around the school.

They parted ways only when they were among the dozen or so students still hanging around the Great Hall after dinner. Kitty followed Yoko down to the kitchens to nab some more food, putting an arm around her shoulder as they walked down. The house elves were more than happy to oblige.

"So, that career thing then?" Kitty inquired a second time.  
"Curse breaker." Yoko smiled.  
"…the fuck did that come from?" The taller of the two small girls looked genuinely mystified.  
"Professor Sprout suggested it. You get to travel all over looking for treasure, and they might be looking for people to go to Japan since…well…the curses there are pretty…"  
"Horrific? Nasty? All the things in a Japanese horror flick? Yeah. I know. Jas told me all about it when he went through his hella magical Japan phase after meeting you." She shuddered as she took a couple of eclairs from the platter a house elf was holding without looking at him.  
Yoko thanked the house elf on Kitty's behalf, and he bowed very low. "It would be interesting…to learn more about magic over there, and I'd have a reason to go home too."  
At the word _home_ Kitty's look soured.  
"It wouldn't be for long stupid." Yoko rolled her eyes and held out her hand.  
Kitty couldn't quite help but take it as she pulled her friend in for a warm embrace. "Better not be…"  
"You'd best go back to your dorm before curfew." Yoko made to break the hug, but Kitty held onto her.  
"In a sec…just gimme a sec…"  
Something was wrong. Yoko didn't know what, but she knew better than to pry. Kitty had been far more anxious about these careers appointments than she was letting on to everyone else. She wondered if she didn't ask out of respect…or out of fear of knowing _why_ she was so anxious. _Her family already has her career set._ The thought alone made her want to get sick.  
"Okay." Kitty sighed. "All done. See you tomorrow. Or…uh, _oyasumi,_ right?" She looked hopeful.  
" _Oyasumi,_ that's right." Yoko smiled back.

And with that, the small brunette made her way towards the entrance of the Hufflepuff common room. She tapped the designated barrel in the rhythm of _Hel-ga Huff-le-puff_ and it swung open. She crawled through into the cosy little circular room, where she was greeted by a few housemates before she made her way up to her dorm. Idle conversation was made with her dorm mates, who seemed to continue speaking at a slower rate even after five years of being told she could understand them just fine when they spoke normally.

Yoko didn't fall asleep right away. Instead, she thought about Kitty and about what her parents might have in store for her. Surely…they were extremists yes, but surely the wouldn't send her to join _them…_

With that final, terrible thought, Yoko fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three - Sirius's Career Advice**

"... I just want to bring health and happiness to the women of the world. In this line of work I can do that on an incredibly intimate and personally fulfilling level." Sirius smiled at McGonagall, his chest puffed out at the end of his impassioned speech. McGonagall looked at Sirius, Sirius refused to let his face fall as he stared back. Slowly the student nodded his head encouragingly. In response, almost imperceptibly, the professor shook her head.

Her eyes narrowed, he narrowed his in return.

"Before you say anything Professor," Sirius allowed an expression of casual provocation to overtake his being, "let me just clarify that muggle vagina doctors are a real thing. In the muggle world they are highly valuable members of society. Very official."

Sirius could kick himself for forgetting the actual name of the career he had 'chosen'. He had said it just moments before but now it escaped him. McGonagall tensed visibly and her lips formed a thin line before she spoke;

"Mr. Black, am I to expect antics like these from all the boys in your dormitory this afternoon?" She seemed tired already. Sirius was not loving this turn of events. He glanced down at his hands and tried to think of any of the lines he had prepared earlier. Little quips that he had planned so meticulously to use as a barrier between himself and the true purpose of this meeting. His initial delivery had gone well. Almost a full uninterrupted minute and a half spent waxing lyrical about the art of whatever-ology. But McGonagall had played her part well, he now realized she had intended and succeeded in waiting out the better part of his performance. Now faced with actually having to look her in the eye, to maintain his tirade.

"Yes, I assume they will want to discuss their future careers too." He considered throwing in some foreshadowing for Remus by mentioning that he had predicted that their meetings would go well but his nerve was failing him in the face of the woman's unrelenting eye contact. He searched frantically for words to fill the impending void which would follow her next question.

"You do well in Charms and your marks in my class are improving all the time." She pulled out a list of his most recently issued grades along with some pamphlets she seemed to have set aside along with them. "As determined as you may be to sabotage this meeting, I can promise you that I am far more determined to make it a success. I will not see strong potential dismissed, not even by it's source."

Sirius was flabbergasted to be actually receiving a compliment from McGonagall. Utterly thrown, his eyes flitted briefly to the window of McGonagall's office to check if the giant squid had started to fly or Snape was washing his hair outside. Apparently the utter strangeness of the day was limited to the room. More than anything else she could have said this left Sirius at a total loss.

"So you don't think I should pursue uhm, genital.. medicine?" He knew that was wrong, fuck. McGonagall closed her eyes and wondered if there was anything sacred left to pray to.

"How long have you been hoping to work in the muggle world?" She asked disinterestedly;

"Ever since I found out about this job." She shuffled through the papers in front of her, she kept her eyes trained on the smug boy.

"If you can answer even one of the following questions right, I'll consider taking this petition seriously." Sirius nodded cheerfully;

"Alright." he consented and she nodded curtly before carrying on.

"What is invitrofertilisation?" Sirius's smile fell.

"Something to do with plants?" Was she going to ask him about labia or something? Was she going to quiz him on vagina parts? He tried to remember what a cervix was. He tried to remember why he had thought this was a good idea. He was glad that he was not prone to blushing, even if it did give James an excuse to make that joke about Sirius's blood always rushing in the wrong direction.

"Why would I ask you about plants? Merlin above, it's a muggle fertilization treatment. What does the term surrogacy refer to in the muggle world?" Sirius smile returned at half-mast, he thought he might actually know this one.

"Sea horses!" McGonagall felt a remarkable desire to resign. She shook her head and Sirius scowled.

"What is the name muggles use for doctors that specialize in women's health?" Sirius looked disgusted.

"I said it earlier!" He cried indignantly. His teenage voice cracking.

"Remind me." McGonagall did not smile, but not without some effort. Sirius tried to force his brain to remember. His professor sat waiting, impassive. Come on, just one out of three.

* * *

"You couldn't even get one out of three?" James announced incredulously, his hands on his hips, a broad grin on his face. Remus was shaking his head with a small smile.

"I can't believe you couldn't remember the word gynecologist." Remus patted Sirius on the shoulder from his seat next to him at the Gryffindor table. "You were doodling it on the corner of your scroll for the better part of the morning." Remus kindly didn't mention that Sirius had been spelling it Guynocolliejest.

The marauders were true to form in this as they were in all things. Sirius tried not worry about them becoming overly predictable.

"You guys don't think we're becoming predictable, do you?" James looked aghast at Sirius's out burst.

"Shut your fat mouth, Black!" James cried and Sirius almost swooned at the prospect of a fake argument. He opened his beautiful mouth to reply when Remus cut across;

"Well I never, how could you? You know that my mouth has recently earned rights as a sentient being and is very very sensitive, now apologize!" Remus's impression of the unfairly elegant teenager was impeccable. James looked horrified, as did Sirius.

"So it's true?!" James announced, disgusted. But then Sirius smiled.

"Have no fear my bespectacled friend-"

"-Oi." James interceded, but Sirius carried on.

"as he so often does, the young Master Lupin has saved us from the dreadful fate of getting trapped in our own warped rhythms."

"I am more than just a pair of glasses, I have a _soul_." Sirius ignored him.

"Remus _made a joke_ that wasn't as dry as the tip of Snape's willy, thus we remain as impossible to predict as ever."

"What does that even mean?" asked Peter, knowing it was gross but not totally understanding why. Sirius picked up a bread roll and clutched it to his chest.

"I would like to thank my Mother, for inspiring me to make friends with people that no normal person would ever approach. I would like to thank the academy for their recognition and - Merlin's saggy hand grenade did you see that? Lily Evans is looking at us." In actual fact Lily hadn't been looking over but, at the sound of her name, her head turned away from her dessert and James nearly fell out of his seat in an effort to look _intensely_ nonchalant. Remus looked across the table at Sirius, Sirius could tell he was trying not to smile but James wasn't making it easy.

"You talk too much." Remus chuckled hoarsely as he drank from his goblet and Sirius was inexplicably pleased with himself.

"Normal people do like us!" Peter cried and Sirius barked out a laugh;

"Shut up, no they don't."

* * *

The rest of Sirius's evening passed much in this manner. It was a long while before Sirius reached back into his bag and pulled out the leaflets McGonagall had given him.

McGonagall really wasn't so bad at all. She seemed to understand, without him saying anything, all the serious stuff he actually needed to communicate. For example, he was dicking around during his one opportunity to plan a career. McGonagall could've just written this off as Sirius being Sirius but she didn't. She had said;

"You _can_ have a future you know." He had stared back at her, he had thought of the murderous cult which was gaining a huge following. About the disappearances. Sure he had a future, but it was set. So he sort of said that;

"Not really."

"Yes, really." Sirius couldn't look at her, why was this harder than the vagina thing? He wanted to say something cool like 'no decent person has a choice'.

"My family, they have all these ideas. I have my own ideas." McGonagall produced a copy of his annual report card. Sirius didn't need to be told how smart he was. How well he could do. Being clever wasn't enough.

"Why don't you just tell me just one of your ideas." Sirius scratched at his jaw, he had what James described as 'twice the amount of stubble needed on any smug, pubescent face.' James was bitter about stuff like that, tallness, chest hair, voice breaking. He had real puberty angst.

"Well it's sort of obvious isn't it?" He managed to look relaxed in his chair. McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "If there's one thing we need its aurors." Sirius felt slightly crestfallen as the professor shook her head.

"Not just aurors, Mr. Black. Good ones, only the best." Sirius wondered bitterly what James saw in her, but then she extended her hand, presenting him with a booklet. 'The Desire to Defend' was spelled out in violet print. Sirius sat forward and took it. He wondered if he could express how utterly charming he found his Head of House in that moment. McGonagall tapped the report card.

"Attendance, diligence and your marks in Potions all need to improve, but you have time. You have the ability." Gods help him, it was like she cared. She dipped her quill in some ink and began to write something on a small notepad to her left. She glanced up from her work just to say; "That's all."

James, Remus, and Peter were Sirius's best friends. They were close, tight nit. They sometimes went through days were they got along so well that Sirius wouldn't be able to say where one teenage boy ended and the next began.

This was probably why they experienced this phenomenon, this unspoken decision to not go too in-depth when discussing what happened in their meetings after the fun was over. They very rarely discussed the war, if you could call it that. They all knew what was coming. That it wouldn't be long before they spoke of little else. They clung to the moments they had left as boys. For this reason, they didn't discuss the identical pamphlets sitting crumpled at the bottom of their bags. Or in Remus's case, neatly trapped between the stiff pages of a library book.


End file.
